Saturday, November 27, 2010

like fire and powder

i fell down the stairs today. all the way down. the basement stairs, narrow and worn with nothing but dull blue concrete at the bottom, littered with runaway screws and piles of lint, topped off with a layer of ancient dust. luckily, i fell backwards and not on my skull. but it still hurt. it's amazing how you forget what falling feels like when you get older. it made me feel like a child. i had forgotten the feeling of skin scraping on concrete. how it stings the palms of your hands. how the skin peels back and becomes dry, leaving a raw patch bare and sticky.

i don't have any polysporin. and i can feel the bruises filling up.

i don't want to sleep. i can't trust my dreams, again. i don't want to see his face. all it ever does is turn away.

Monday, November 8, 2010

you may tire of me, as our December sun is setting, cause i'm not who i used to be

it's too early for Love, Actually to be on.
daylight savings was today. should have been at the bar, i think, last night.
only a few more weeks.
nothing about this is easy.
i want mine.

Monday, October 11, 2010

and tho the rain/ keeps comin down

big pun? remember that shit? classic, man.
i mean, really, if dude was available, at maximum, i would grab him and say, "isn't it wonderful? listen to the rain."
i love it.
at minimum, we would fall asleep as if nothing had happened.
but what's better than fingertips in the rain? standing on the porch, with the noise all around, and quiet in the mind, except for the race race race of the heart, and maybe the eyes, and then the breath,
bam drip
i could stand in silence, hearing a million sounds
and finally once, eternal, your teeth.
your eyes.

infinity will never know your convex blues.

Monday, October 4, 2010


night flights are the only way to go.

I was totally fine on Friday, having slept only 4 hours, at most, on the plane, in the exit row seat (that doesn't recline and doesn't have any foot room, by the way). now i can't rule out the fact that i was really excited to be home and go shopping with my sister (at a mall i am familiar with and has the stores i like!!) and then see everyone the next day, but whatever the extraneous variables were, i still felt awesome when i got in!

in addition, trying to wake up at 4:50 am this morning to catch the early bird return flight did not go well at all. particularly considering the fact that i didn't actually wake up until about 10... Turns out i was really exhausted, after all? Whatever, it was totally worth it. Best weekend ever! if i reasonably could, i wouldn't go back.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Gate B23, YYC

So far I'm liking the red eye. The airport is so much calmer at night, and there are fewer people who haven't had enough sleep bustling about.
I'm appreciating the calm. I got my car back, which is nice. I'm hoping I can sleep. Of course its the one flight all year where I get an aisle seat.
We'll see how (if) I'm surviving tomorrow before I make a general statement about how I'm never flying in daylight again.

Monday, September 20, 2010

when he held me in his arms, my beloved touched the ground

it's day two of my non-diet diet that isn't even really a diet and i'm fully ready to punch a nun and order a ginourmous pizza. i'm going to have to take up smoking or something equally cool to replace my foodie vice. or perhaps just some boorish tom. either way, definitely something inelegant.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Saturday, September 11, 2010

peter rabbit

...i don't know. i'm starting to feel like such a crazy person. i hope this marks the end of my bad luck streak. i've been trying really hard to get a grip. i'm just tired. i can't wait for my thesis data to be collected. analyzing it will be fun. so i will just look forward to that.

oh also, there is a bunny in my yard. it's unbearably cute!

it's a mechanical bull...

there's nothing like six hour trips to the hospital to make you realize you live in a city where you have one true friend and have lost most of the support in your life. thanks, people. i guess on the upside, we can rest assured that my tear ducts work, after all. a year deep and i was beginning to wonder. too bad it took a gargantuan realization to bring it to the forefront. oh, ps, turns out, i'm fine, and will only require on-and-off icing. too bad that will never happen. after least they ruined my weekend; and any chance of me finishing my thesis this weekend on time. yee-fucking-haw.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

the summer that never was

you may or may not notice that i don't have any summer photos, really, this year. i spent four months waiting for some nice weather and a little motivation to come along. neither ever arrived.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Sunday, August 1, 2010

red hairs

and there you have it, people. it's no joanie, but it's how i do.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

love love LOVE

perhaps in some mild effort to more closely resemble this amazingly gorgeous woman, i am planning on adding some red to my 'do. am desperately trying not to think of the million ways this could go terribly wrong.