sweet dreams are made of these

every so often i have these lucid dreams, probably not a surprise since i tend to write about them because they unnerve me so much. they always seem to bring up powerful feelings, often ones i've forgotten or pushed away so far that i can barely remember anyway. then my subconscious launches them at me with the force of an assault riffle while I'm unsuspectedly sleeping away. I'm not even sure if it was a real feeling I've ever felt, but it was reminiscent of summer nights not so long ago but that have faded from memory. I would never consciously imagine that being back in the crook of that neck could make me feel so completely safe and excited all at the same time, but this morning it was a rude reminder of the small things I've let go of in order to embrace my loneliness.